So when are you gonna have a baby?

This is the question I dread THE most when I am talking to people.  Most of my friends and family are either aware of my medical situation or are aware that I do not want to talk about having children however, 99% of the other people I come into contact with have the same thing to say.  'Oh you're married?  You're so young.'  Well my husband and and I have been together the last 7 years, married for 2 1/2 now so its been a while.  'Wow.  So when are you gonna have a baby?'

I realize that is the usual progression in most people's heads; go to school, get a job, get married, start a family, retire.  To be honest my plan was not too far from this one, but not everyone thinks of this as their lifelong timeline.  I also realize that unless you or someone you know has experienced reproductive problems, you don't know that this can be a hurtful question, and I try to act accordingly.

BUT OH MY GOD I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS QUESTION!
(I just typed all of that with 9 fingers because I was holding down the shift key then  realized as I was done I should have used the caps button-dumb)

Whether I had problems or not I think I would be sick of this question.  When I want to have a baby is none of your damn business and when people ask me if we're 'trying'  all I can think about is why does this person want to know if I am sleeping with my husband? 

I'm sensitive about this subject so I'm sure I am more irritated than most by this but I mean COME ON!  I have been hearing that since we got engaged which means since I was 20.  20?  Am I seriously the only person who thinks 20 is still pretty young to be planning out their family?  I don't see anything wrong with people who do plan their family young but I think its young for other people to expect that I already have it planned out.  I would probably not want kids for another 5 or more years if all of this had not come up.  I would blissfully tell people I am not planning on having kids soon without the weird tension.  Or at least as much weird tension. 

Just to clarify though, I really don't have a huge problem with people who ask me once nicely as small talk.  If we are just meeting or something similar comes up in conversation and someone says 'When do you plan on having kids?'  or 'Are you and your husband thinking about a baby?'  I generally just try to smile and say we are not thinking about that right now and/or we are young and haven't been married that long.  The people I have a problem with are the ones that ask me EVERY TIME THEY SEE ME or who ask WHEN I am going to have a baby like I'm required to.  Specifically the ones who ask continuous questions after I try to change the subject and do not drop the issue make me boiling mad.  If someone asks and I tell them we are not thinking about it, some of them ask me WHY!  Don't ask me WHY!  How the hell is that any of their business?  I try to stay calm and answer with something about being young and not married long like I said before.  But some people continue to ask questions.  Usually after the third time I have answered a question nicely and tried to change the subject I tell them that I have on going medical issues that prevent me from ever having children of my own and I don't want to talk about it so I would appreciate it if they stopped asking me.  This pretty much shuts everybody up.  Unfortunately some people still ask inappropriate questions. 

Friends and relatives are generally excluded and of course each person feels differently about this issue.  I myself am learning to be more open about my medical problems and less defensive, secretive or ashamed of them.

I hope this doesn't make anyone scared to ask I just hope it makes you think before you ask.  Think about how you ask questions, you never know what someone else is going through.  Think about who you are asking, if you don't know this person should you really be asking about private things if they aren't forthcoming with the information?  Think about why you are asking, are you trying to find the best way to comfort a friend or are you satisfying your own curiosity?  Lastly, pay attention to what a person is saying and not saying and how they respond to the question.  If they change the subject, go with it because they probably don't want to talk about it.  If they give you a generic answer or say something vague, you probably shouldn't dig further unless there is a specific reason.  I know I would appreciate some courtesy from strangers.