A little background info....

I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.

I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Five Minute Friday-Connect

I am taking Gypsy Mama's idea and writing for 5 min fri. You write for just five minutes on the topic and don't censor or correct yourself. After five minutes post what you have. You can then link to her page and share your post with others that are writing on the same topic.  Be sure you comment on the link posted before you and any other links you read. =)
Connect


Last weekend brought a lot of connections for me.  My husband and I drove down to San Antonio to spend some time with family and celebrate my cousin, RL, graduating from the Air Force Academy.  My grandparents, parents, aunt and uncle, RL's husband and my other cousin were all there.  RL's husband, JL, also brought along his half brother with his wife and two kids.  It was not a small event to say the least.  That side of the family, and the members that came down specifically, are partiers.  We like to laugh and tell stories while we make food and hang out together.  We love to have a good time and there is rarely anything else when we all get together.  We only see my aunt, uncle and cousins every few years so there is a lot to catch up on.  I had never met JL before so it was nice to meet the man that make RL so happy.  Reconnecting with that side of my family fills my heart up.  My uncle got so sad when we had to leave early and my aunt and I spent the whole time wrestling around with my dad and teasing him.  (a tradition of ours)  I am named after her so he yells that the L's are picking on him and runs to tell his mom.  After 50 years he is still telling mommy when his sister bothers him and it just cracks us up.  We only spent about 24 hours with them but it makes me want to spent every weekend with them.  After we left the family we had lunch with some friends of ours that live in San Antonio that we had not seen in several years.  It happened to be NL's daughter's birthday so we had a very nice celebration lunch where I got to meet her 2 year old daughter for the first time.  Soaking in all the fun and conversation from that short lunch visit makes me miss them so much right now.  It also reaffirms that time and distance just doesn't effect some relationships.  Once we got home on Saturday evening I went straight to JU's mom's house because she was in town that weekend.  I got to see her, her husband and their sweet baby BU.  He will be 1 next month and I just can't believe how big he is and I fall completely in love every time I see him again.  We went out that night with old high school friends, some like CZ that I see all the time and some like BZ that I do not.  I reconnected with SO many people that I feel exhausted from the love.

-Quick side note while I still have time left on the clock-

For a split second I got the cold sweat fear that I would have to have the baby discussion with a room full of people I haven't seen in years and therefore aren't completely aware of my situation and some strangers.  JL was playing with his nephew and while hoisting him above his head he asked 'So when are you guys gonna start having kids?'
I nearly dropped to the floor because I was so unprepared, I usually don't get that from family anymore.  I tried to recover and smile while I said 'Oh none for us, I'm just looking forward to being an aunt in a few years.'  And JL made the face everyone makes when I say that so I braced myself.  To my surprise however, he smiled really wide and very proudly said, 'Same for us, we're not having kids.'  Phew!  I was out and it was over in seconds, I panicked for nothing.
This got me thinking though, that is how we connect with new people.  We connect through our shared experiences or discussing our differences.  Asking those 'basic' questions are how we relate and connect.