mother without child: growth

A little background info....

I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.

I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.

Monday, June 6, 2011

growth

I posted a link to my blog on my facebook to celebrate that my restrictions were lifted and I didn't even have a panic attack. Also it came up in our Book Club meeting last night and I told EF about my problems briefly without breaking into a sweat or turning bright red or feeling completely ashamed of myself. If nothing else, this last six months and challenge to myself have helped me there. Before I didn't want to share this or talk to anyone about it other than a few close friends. I have felt guilt and shame that kept me from expressing how I felt. I still feel those things a lot of the time but it is getting less and less. I don't always see a killer when I look in the mirror, sometimes I see a grieving mother and sometimes I just see me. THAT is a huge step for me. I've had a little success so far, thanks for being here with me while I've found it.