Month 2 down-4 to go

Evaluate.

Evaluation time again.

Ok, so last time I decided I wanted to focus on some more good things, I think I am doing that more but it could be better.

I wanted to blog more, maybe I am a little more but I really should step it up.

I was a little off on my dates this month, whoops, so I am going to MAKE the time instead of find the time so get this done.  After all mwc, it is important for your overall health.  And blogging is fun.

My thoughts on the last month would be, I think this is getting easier.  That surprises me because it hasn't really been that long.  I think I should ponder that thought a little and work on why....  more to come.

Also, this month more than most months reminds me that I have truly wonderful friends and family members who love and support me.  I am so very grateful to have them around.  =)

Also also, I really want some more feedback from the people reading my blog, I would love to hear some of the things you have to say or any questions you have.  I would also like some votes on my polls, not sure what to do about them yet.

I almost peed my pants.

So this is a couple of days late because I wanted the time to put into words all the swirly thoughts I was having about the wonderfulness of the giant news I got on Wed.  My good friend JBU is pregnant!  I am so excited for her.  She is one of the (unfortunately several) friends of mine who has dealt with reproductive issues.  Without going through her bidniss and giving away all her secrets, I can just tell you she has been through A LOT.  This is also the friend that is perpetually sick and/or hurt and ALWAYS the -1% of people who have a crazy side effect.  Yea, so she has been through a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT.  I have spent many hours near tears listening to her worry and fret (for good reasons) that she may never get to have a child, something she has always wanted.  Commiserating with each other is a large part of our visits when we get together because its easy to talk to someone who has been through it all like you have.  I am just so thrilled for her news.  This great great freaking great news led to 3 very distinct and surprising reactions at my house.

After I got off of the phone with her I told my hubby, TB, and jumped around excited and chattering at him for a little while.  When I calmed down he turned to me and said, 'I'm so thrilled that you're so excited for her, that's great.'  And the epiphany slapped me across the face.  I AM excited for her.  That was my first and only reaction.  One of my big fears has been that I would be unable to be completely happy and supportive when my girlfriends starting having kids.  Well fear be gone because that clearly is not the case.  =)

Later in the night I couldn't stop smiling because I had another thought, she got through all of her medical drama crap and came out with a pregnancy.  If she can have so many scary moments and still get what she wants in the end maybe I can too.  Maybe my nightmare will be over someday.  Its a nice feeling when you think there might be hope.  =)

Even later on that night I could not help but notice TB was pretty upset and distant.  After asking him three times what was wrong he finally told me that JBU getting pregnant made him just a little sad.  I was shocked that I hadn't had that reaction but more shocked that he had.  He just does not express that kind of thing often.  Although he is incredible excited for JBU it just makes TB remember that we don't have our own baby here and we may not get the pleasure of being parents to be.  After he talked it out and wrote in his journal, he felt much better and was left with just the excitement.  I felt bad for my husband however, this kind of sadness when it comes to the baby just doesn't go away that quickly with him.  I think maybe because he talks about it so rarely that when he finally does it just lingers.  TB has already come around so I am not worried.

But overall, great news and excitement all the way around.  Yay JBU and BU!  yay!
-you guys should seriously consider the name liz =)

Better late than never

So I cheated a little and did the last part of my challenge on the 21st instead of the 20th, bad mwc.

Well the lovely CZ came over on Monday and we sat and talked about my list of fears and she gave me some great insights that I had not thought of, she sure is smart!  =)
It was nice to get things out and talk about them.  Maybe I can talk myself through some of my irrational crazy ramblings with a little help from her thoughts.  Love you CZ!



Also!  I wanted to say a big congrats to my friends KK and GB on their engagement.  Good for you guys, NO ONE saw this coming.  -giant dramatic eye roll  =)

Step 4

Discuss my fears with a person or group of people.

Funny how everyone else seems to know better than you do...

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-10-most-irritating-least-helpful-parenting-tips-ever-2448391/

I thought this was an interesting article, seems like having a child is an open invitation to unsolicited and inappropriate 'advice' and comments.  Enjoy.

Finally an ending

So I'm sure by now that many of you who read often are confused by the many posts that vaguely talk about privacy and ask odd questions. Between busy work, ice storms, no computer at home and overall craziness I never did get to tie up the thread I started on about sickness vs privacy.

The very basic story is this.... I work with my family. Recently my boss/grandmother called both my mom (who I do not work with so I don't know why she was involved) and my aunt to ask them what I have been eating lately because she's sure it’s nothing but junk food. I got upset when my mom told me that and I asked my aunt if she was asking questions about my diet. The short answer is yes but it semi came up in a conversation. I guess my aunt told her because she sent an e mail about how she's sorry if I'm mad but she's just worried about me.

I get her worry but my basic stand point is this.

Its none of your business what I eat. Ever.

If you really think there is a problem or reason for concern then talk to me about it instead of people who have nothing to do with my eating habits.

Even if you ask what I'm eating I don't have to tell you.


That really got me thinking about my privacy and where it ends in relation to friends, family, coworkers, and my health. I am a big girl and I like food. That's true but what I eat is my business only. What I eat may affect my health. That's true but what I eat is my business only. As long as I am not missing work or offending my coworkers they should not care. As long as I am not tanking my health and ignoring my doctors then my family should not care.


I have a lot of health problems though and I get my overprotective gene from my gma so I can def see her concern.

But, does the status of my health void my privacy?

I don't think so.

Lots of people say that privacy goes when you get older and need more help or get sick and there are more questions. But is that necessary? Do you need to ask 20 personal questions to know if I am doing better or worse? If I am taking care of myself? If I am doing something wrong?

I would like to also say that is offends me that she focuses on my eating habits like my problems are in some way my fault or fixable. Even if that is not where she is coming from that is where I go.


In the end she is just worried and curious and I love her for that. I tried to let her know that there are boundaries when it comes to my privacy but I have a feeling we will be here again in a few months.

-for the record I am not an unhealthy eater either



I would really like an idea of how other people feel.

Do you feel like you gave up your privacy because of sickness (past or present)?

Do you feel like it is someone's right to ask about your health if they are a close friend or family member?

Do you expect total disclosure from a sick person in your life?

Do you think privacy is deserved whether health is an issue or not?


I would also like some votes on my polls, I still cannot decide about my court case and I would like an impartial opinion.

Volunteers?

Looking for volunteers again.  I need to discuss with someone/people my fears from the list I posted before.  I was kinda thinking 2-3 people and just go over the points kinda quick and hear what other people think that are not inside my crazy head with me and all the voices but as many or as few who would like to help out are welcome.  I would think coffee and dessert would be provided or snacks or something like that so you would be compensated ;).

Let me know how you feel guys.  Thanks.

Step 3

Say my fears out loud to another person.

Get to the polls

I would like to see some more votes for the polls on the right side of the screen.  Let me know how you feel, I was hoping you guys could help me make my decisions somewhat.

Btw mwc is feeling much better I can bend twist and jump around so my back is feeling good.  Slightly sore now from sitting at work today (yay full day of work -not sarcastic) but otherwise feeling good.  That is all.

I am completely annoyed however, I got a subpeona to appear in court tomorrow for work.  Ugh.  More time away from work, more and more behind.

Challenge

I have to say my fears out loud to someone by the 10th of this month and I am looking for volunteers, I'd prefer not to do this with my husband since we have a seperate fear list thing later.  Hit me up if you want to help me out.  I just need to say them out loud, not discuss them yet so I would think 10 mins of me gabbing then coffee (or slurpee CZ) on me.  Just let me know =)

I am batman

So my back is still killing me from when I fell on it on Tuesday.  My neck and head hurt as well.  So as my friend SB would say, I am batman.  You know, like in the rubber mask when he can't turn his head he has to turn his whole shoulders?  Yea well, thats me.  CZ would disagree and say I am Robin but that is a differnt silly conversation.

I have gotten way off track the last few days since the ice kept us out of the office one day and here only 4 hours the rest of the week.  Today there is half a foot of snow on top of the ice and somehow I am the only one who can find that ice.  Looking through my apt complex, everyone else can walk or play or even run in the snow and have a great time.  I step in the snow and my boot immediately hits the ice and I slip.  Luckily my hubby TB was holding my hand so I could keep my balance so I didn't fall AGAIN.  I look like a little old lady hunched over so I can watch where my feet are stepping and gripping tight onto TB's hand as we walk SOOOOOOO slowly to the car I think we'll never get there.  So maybe I'm and old batman.  Or batmans' grandma.  I dunno.
Yea, winter + mwc = disaster.  Trying to walk to the car yesterday afternoon TB exclaims annoyed, 'We could never live up north if you can't even walk.'  Personally I don't want to live up north, I am happy in Texas, but he is absolutely right I'd be laid up hurt every other week if I had to contend with ice and snow on a regular or semi regular basis.


I am going to take this weekend to get my thoughts in order to finish up my post about privacy/illness because I think it is important and I think I am only seeing one side of it so I would love some input if you have it.

Out into the cold, batman away!

Ice Ice Baby-Ow!

So its has been crazy icey around here and I have not been to work so I have not updated.  It doesn't help that I fell on said ice on Tuesday and hurt my back and hit my head on the curb soo... not good.  Been a  little busy complaining and being stuck in the house to blog.  More tomorrow though, I am sure of it.

Look out for the bear!

So even less time than yesterday to talk about my questions from before but I am trying my best to get something up as often as possible so I thought I'd go just a little further on some of the questions from yesterday.

Does your private life become more public when you are in bad health?
Are you obliged to reassure others of their fears regarding your health and lifestyle?
At what point are the intimate questions less for me and more for you?

I have always been the kind of person who is overly protective of my friends and family.  I wouldn't say to the point of interfering in their lives or giving unsolicited advice constantly but I would say that I worry too much, think about them too much and generally try to point out every angle of their questions or decision just so they think it through completely and make the best decision for them.  I don't really give advice without being asked unless I'm with very close friends and we know each other well enough to skip the 'do you want my opinion?' question (at least I think that) but I am the first to point out something they have overlooked or maybe not thought of.  I know that personally I like to think things through carefully and consider every avenue so I try to do the same for others.  I can see how it would be very easy for someone to get tired of my questions or concerns so I try to keep them to myself in most cases without being invited into their quest for an answer.  But that is a tough line.  At what point do you say, there is a bear behind you and you haven't noticed it cause you didn't turn around?  The bear isn't charging or snarling but maybe it looks a little hungry and you wouldn't want to see your friend as a snack.  Let the friend see the bear on their own?  Wait until that bear causes some trouble to mention it?  Or point out, hey no worries but there's a bear behind you?


(not really sure why I am thinking about bears.....)