The Nanny and her gorgeous employer danced circles around each other and the idea of a relationship for 5 years and and then very quickly admitted their feelings for one another and got married. Fran finds out soon after the wedding she is pregnant but does not tell Max because he expresses how much he does not want a child yet. After finally telling him she has an accident and ends up in the hospital to find out that she was never really pregnant before, there was a false positive. They spend the next several months trying to get pregnant and are unable to. It takes a long time and lots of hurt feelings but she eventually gets pregnant with twins and both parents are ecstatic.
-I'm sensing a tv theme here. I guess they feel like the karmic effect of reproduction issues is to have multiple children at once.
I miscarried in 2007 in my 2nd trimester and have dealt with medical/emotional issues since then, trying to move past the problems and the pain. Every day is a chance to find a silver lining and a positive outlook on my now changed life. There is a 7% chance I can conceive, and that is only if my health changes dramatically soon. I would'nt have thought about children at this time in my life had it not been taken from me.
A little background info....
I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.
I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.
I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Five Minute Friday-Risk
I am taking Gypsy Mama's idea and writing for 5 min fri. You write for just five minutes on the topic and don't censor or correct yourself. After five minutes post what you have. You can then link to her page and share your post with others that are writing on the same topic. Be sure you comment on the link posted before you and any other links you read. =)
Risk
Risk is a touchy word. It can be hard for people. High risk pops into my head first. I am at high risk for diseases and infections because of my immune system collapse. I will certainly have a high risk pregnancy if I ever get pregnant again. If that happens there is a risk that I may not survive it. I have potential to be put on a high risk adoption list if we ever decide to do that. My life on many days feels like it is filled to the brim with numbers, statistics, and risk calculations. There's a big risk that I will need to get a full hysterectomy very soon. There is the risk that if I choose to have that surgery now for my health, my husband (or even I) could regret and/or resent it later. It's too risky to make an incision to farm and freeze some of my eggs. Every new pill, shot, capsule gives me the risk of busting one of my many scars AGAIN and giving me internal bleeding AGAIN and making me have ANOTHER minor surgery to fix it up. There is a risk that all of this is for nothing and I may never bear my own children and I may never be healthy again. There is a risk that all of this will trigger my bi-polar disorder in difficult ways that make it hard to control. There is a risk that I will look back and think I made the wrong choices. There is also that chance that anything could happen so it's difficult to believe the statistics every time. Sometimes my gut can see the risks long before the doctors and doctors and doctors see it.
Risk
Risk is a touchy word. It can be hard for people. High risk pops into my head first. I am at high risk for diseases and infections because of my immune system collapse. I will certainly have a high risk pregnancy if I ever get pregnant again. If that happens there is a risk that I may not survive it. I have potential to be put on a high risk adoption list if we ever decide to do that. My life on many days feels like it is filled to the brim with numbers, statistics, and risk calculations. There's a big risk that I will need to get a full hysterectomy very soon. There is the risk that if I choose to have that surgery now for my health, my husband (or even I) could regret and/or resent it later. It's too risky to make an incision to farm and freeze some of my eggs. Every new pill, shot, capsule gives me the risk of busting one of my many scars AGAIN and giving me internal bleeding AGAIN and making me have ANOTHER minor surgery to fix it up. There is a risk that all of this is for nothing and I may never bear my own children and I may never be healthy again. There is a risk that all of this will trigger my bi-polar disorder in difficult ways that make it hard to control. There is a risk that I will look back and think I made the wrong choices. There is also that chance that anything could happen so it's difficult to believe the statistics every time. Sometimes my gut can see the risks long before the doctors and doctors and doctors see it.
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