Once again I am taking Gypsy Mama's idea and writing for 5 min fri. You write for just five minutes on the topic and don't censor or correct yourself. After five minutes post what you have. =)
Still....
I am still not feeling well.
I am still sick.
I am still not losing weight or allowed to really exercise.
My husband still doesn't get it, though he tries a lot of the time.
I still feel overwhelmed at work.
I still have the best friends and family that literally drop what they are doing if I need them.
I still feel tired all the time and have no energy.
I still may need major surgery, I still don't want it.
There is still a chance that I could be healthy in the future but I still don't believe it.
I cannot sit still at work anymore, it is getting too uncomfortable.
I still can't tell if this treatment is helping my pain, I still feel it.
My house is still messy and my medical bills are still unpaid.
I still have to find the strength to get out of bed every morning and not to cry every night.
Every time I feel like I am scraping the bottom of my inner-strength-barrel I still find a handful when I really need it.
There are still things that terrify me about the future and my health.
There is still no end in sight for my struggles, which also means no end for my husband TB's struggles.
At night my legs ache and hurt I cannot stay still long enough to fall asleep until I am so exhausted from the pain that I drift off.
I still have no idea if I ever even want to put myself through another pregnancy, if I want a baby of my own.
I am still working on my list of positive things about being childless.
I still want my tattoo but I just haven't gotten it right yet.
I still need to finish my next challenge to myself so I can get started.
I did catch up with 5MF but I am still behind on all the posts I want to put up.
I still really wish I could just take a big breath and start to get back on track, I just still feel like I can't.
There will always be times when we do not know or understand the great plans God has in store for us. He may have dreams in mind for you that are not yours yet. I can not imagine your heartache, but know that another soul is praying for you today. Psalm 46:10
ReplyDeleteTake your Big Breath and pick yourself up and get on that track. Seems like and sounds like you'r a brave woman, so therefore take that Big Step on that track. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes my dear.
Thank you very much anon, you made me smile.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is very touching. I cannot imagine the pain you must feel. Same wishes as anonymous. :) I hope today can be beautiful, somehow.
ReplyDeleteThanks P =)
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for this valley your are going through. Remember to reach to the Master, tell him your problems, empty your heart out and leave it with him. He is a great comfort in times when comfort seems so far away. It may not seem like it now, but one day you just may look back on this time in your life and somehow be thankful for the pain. I have found this to be true for different times in my life. Praying for God's grace. His grace is sufficient.
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