Thoughts for today

Goal:  8 mins walking, 2 mins sit ups

Excited to start doing a little something to make myself feel healthier.  One of the things about this recovery crap is that I feel very out of control, which is hard for me.  It is frustrating when there isn't a lot I can do to make myself feel better.  I feel like I am sort of stuck with what I have and that's a tough feeling.  Sooo.... even though I hate 'excercising' I am going to look at it as a positive since it was banned before.  When I have a little more flexibility with what/how long I can do stuff I think I'll be able to find more fun things to do and less 'working out.'  I just don't like the idea of setting time aside to lose weight or stay in shape, I like doing active things that I enjoy instead.  We'll work towards that.

I may not have the funds to get my tattoo by the end of the week like my schedule insists but I do plan to at least make the appointment by the end of the month so I can get it done very soon.  I need a little more tweaking to find exactly what I want too and I would never want to get anything that isn't just right.  I really liked some of MH's ideas from what her friends have done.  Specifically, the idea of having several items for children or other family members and having one a different color for the lost child.  I guess I'm just thinking less memorial and more keeping my baby with me sort of a thing.  I dunno, still needs some work.

I am trying to also decide what to do about the support group thing and I just haven't made time to look some more.  I just don't know what to do about that.

My challenge is coming to an end very quickly and I need to decide what my next plan is.  Obviously soon I need to have THE TALK with TB again about where we stand with kids and stuff since that is where this whole thing started and this whole thing was so I would be less of a freak when we talked about it next.  I'm sorta thinking a little time off, the talk, and then a new six month plan with a new goal.  Yea, maybe that will work.

-Damn I have a lot to think about/decide on/get finished.  I'm tired already.