A little background info....

I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.

I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Everybody but me

I read tarot cards and recently read for several people over the past week and in most of them the idea that someone was gonna have a baby came up.  Whether you believe in that stuff or not is not the point, it just made me think that everybody seems to get a baby but me.  =(
(of course this is an exageration but unfortunately not a large one)

I am happy for the people in my life who are able to create life but it always hits just the right spot to shock my just a little.  It always seems when I am feeling good about myself and my situation something comes along and smacks me in the face.  You can't have what you want, you're sick and tired, you are damaged and unworthy.  It sucks.  I don't like the idea that I feel anything but happy when someone tells me this exciting news.  Of course I am never unhappy with that person, just unhappy with myself.

So I just baby my cats and treat them like my kids and overcompensate to the point where I think I may be a little crazy.
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