Sometimes I think they make this stuff up

I have to say that over these last few years my Dr has said some crazy stuff to me.  I was talking to my aunt LG about what was going on and we both just had to laugh when I tried to explain what they were doing.  Sometimes I wonder if I am on one of those hidden camera shows where they make you do stupid stuff for other people's enjoyment.  If you are watching my show, please stop.

Without explaining the context in which these sentences came you will laugh, but I have to tell you, the explanation of why he said some of this stuff isn't really any better.  Below are specific quotes from my Dr, I couldn't make these up if I tried.

• We are going to inflate your uterus and then scrub it out.  Its kinda like using a kitchen brush when you need to get into the corners of pots and pans while you do the dishes.
• Your uterus twitched and tore one of your fallopian tubes.
• Only half of your uterus is moving.
• We're looking for these pills to start a dance party on the inside.
• I'm going to give you a pill that gives you contractions all weekend.  You will essentially be in mild labor for three days.
• We are going to take sonogram photos of your scars to study them, say cheese.
• This shot will work the same way jumper cables work on a car battery.
• This new pain will be different from the previous pain, which is also different from the pain you will have when we're through.
• After your contractions subside you will feel menopause-like symptoms.
• You're gonna look like The Hulk if we do that.
• You need need three times as much estrogen in your body just to be even with most women.
• Once your uterus contracts back to its regular size you could lose 100 pounds.
• Your arthritis test was a problem, we need to look into this further.
• We will be giving you a shot directly in the uterus.

These are only a few things off the top of my head in the freak show that is my life.  Enjoy.