Voting is cool

I appreciate everyone who has voted on my polls so far, the votes have jumped from 1 to 9 so I'm excited.  You all overwhelmingly agree with the way I feel so far.  All of the votes are for the medical journal in order to help others who may go through the same thing and all the votes are against the court case for a law that I do not feel strongly about.  That is exactly how I feel, kinda nice to get a little reassurance I have to say.  I feel pretty crazy these days.

When I talked to my lawyers Thursday about the case we are working on I let my Doc know that I will be allowing him to write his paper about me and my innards and I also let the law guys know that I wanted them to start considering an alternative to a court case because I really didn't feel like I was up to it but I would like to help in some way if it is important.  I also asked for more information on this law they are trying to change so I can make sure I want to be a part of this before I jump in.  I do feel however, that if a case would truly benefit me the most I would go through with it.  I want those idiots to lose their licenses for what they did.

I have to say that telling them I 'wasn't up to' the case was pretty hard.  I am classically the one who wants to do for everyone else and not for myself and actually thinking that the personal stress and the already exhausted feeling I get from being in constant pain were enough and more stress and possible pain would just make things worst right now.  I am in the last year of my recovery time and I need to focus on myself.  Man, that's hard to say.

When they initially let me know that I was on a 26 month recovery plan they also let me know that my recovery was akin to that of a stroke, I had a set amount of time to do as much work as possible but that was pretty much it.  After 26 months I probably wouldn't progress anymore and wherever I land at that point was just about where I would stay.  So I have worked hard and listened to every crazy thing they have to say and seen all the drs, specialists and holistic healers they could recommend me to.  I got second, third and sometimes fourth opinions to make sure I was doing the right thing.  I have taken experimental drugs and taken part in medical trials and treatments.  I have changed my diet, my routine and my life.  Why push myself off track now to help some guys do something I'm not sure I agree with?  Well I won't.  So ha.

-Also, keep giving me your feedback.  I love the votes and love to hear how other people feel.