I was thinking about it today and I only have a month left in my six month challenge to myself to go. I feel like I have definitely grown in the last several months and I feel less crazy than I did before. I am feeling very anxious lately and I have some things getting wrapped up and decisions to make soon. I need to start looking into support groups or forums for my deadline on Friday, then comes the best step of them all, I get to get my tattoo on the 10th of next month. I need to start doing some research and figuring out just what I want. I have a pretty good idea but I want to be sure about it. Some days are just overwhelming lately so I'm looking forward to that step.
I need to start thinking about my options for my health, our future together and how we want to proceed with everything. TB and I seem to have made a decision last week that I don't think people are going to like but I think its right for us. All I can do is hope they will eventually understand. Or just ignore them.
I miscarried in 2007 in my 2nd trimester and have dealt with medical/emotional issues since then, trying to move past the problems and the pain. Every day is a chance to find a silver lining and a positive outlook on my now changed life. There is a 7% chance I can conceive, and that is only if my health changes dramatically soon. I would'nt have thought about children at this time in my life had it not been taken from me.
A little background info....
I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.
I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.
I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.
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