That wasn't so bad

So after all of my crazy nervous scared thoughts I posted my blog on facebook and got a couple very nice responses and then not much else.  Which is what I really wanted.  Sharing a part of myself shouldn't be a big declaration but it should be available for those who want it.  A couple of acquaintance-friends reached out and said some great things or offered some help which is wonderful.  It always feels nice to know someone is around if I need them.  Of course I did not post about it for support or compliments I just wanted to get it out and off my chest.  So now it is out in the universe of my facebook and somewhere someone might get a little help and someone might get a little laugh.  I'm sure I will get both, and that's what matters most to me.

I do have to admit that I had a small heart attack when I saw that my last posts were about feeling guilt and shame.  That's just not who I am usually and thinking some old school friends or someone I haven't been in touch with for a while saw that first was a little annoying.  I guess that's just not a very good introduction and I don't feel it fits me.

I did see that my page views quadrupled since before I posted so its nice to know some people looked. =)

Well now I am looking forward to the next step.  I'm the type of person that believes in getting the demons out of your head and letting them go so I think getting all my fears on paper will help me look at them and rationalize some of them.  Maybe when I see something written down like 'my ghost child follows me around'  I will see how delusional I am and find a way to do something about it.  (newcomers, for more info check an older post Its been too long to still be at the beginning of my journey
 about the 'ghost' that follows me around.)

I also feel like some weight has been lifted, letting the link out for my blog means it isn't a secret, means it isn't hidden anymore.  I could potentially speak to other people besides CZ and SC about it without feeling the immense need to run for my Xanez Rx.

So deep breath, big sign mwc, this was a good decision.  Onward.