A little background info....

I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.

I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.

Monday, January 24, 2011

List of Fears

Sorry about the delay, sick from work + no Internet at home= no blogging  =(

So here's my list of fears.....

I'm scared...
  • that I'm missing something huge in my life.
  • I won't be enough for TB for the rest of our lives.
  • I will be too much for TB for the rest of our lives.
  • TB and I will never be ok again.
  • I will carry this pain with me forever.
  • I'm not as strong as I thought I was.
  • I'll have to rely on other people.
  • I won't be able to protect another child.
  • I might resent the people I love.
  • I will feel lonely forever.
  • TB is more hurt than he lets on.
  • I can't help TB with his pain.
  • I can't help my own pain.
  • TB will get impatient waiting for me to be ready.
  • TB will agree to children before he is ready.
  • someone I don't know will ask why I don't have kids.
  • I'll be rude to people who ask innocent questions.
  • of a life without kids.
  • of having another miscarriage.
  • my body will never really heal.
  • I'll never forgive myself for what happened.
  • I will smother my kids and be overprotective if I do get them.
  • I will never be the same person I was before.
  • I cannot be fixed.
  • I will never be the same person
  • TB is hurting more than I know
  • I am not there for TB because I am preoccupied with myself and my pain.
  • I talk too much about how sad/scared/crazy I am to the few people I talk to that about.
  • I'll get bitter.
  • I'll react the wrong way to my close friends/family when they get children.
  • I'll never have kids.
  • I'll have kids and be a bad mom.
  • TB isn't honest about when he wants kids.
  • I don't know what I want.
  • I won't ever know what I want.
  • I'm too scared to make a real decision.
  • I'll have another miscarriage.
  • I'll get pregnant while I'm sick and have to have an abortion or something.
  • I'll get pregnant while I'm sick and the baby will be effected by that.
  • I'll get pregnant and it will be a threatening situation.
  • We'll have to choose my life or my baby's life.
  • I'll be sick forever.
  • bills will keep us from doing what we want in the future.
  • the law suit won't go well and we won't get any compensation.
  • some stupid Dr screwed me up for the rest of my life because they didn't want to admit they were wrong.
  • I'll forever be asked 'when are you gonna have kids.
  • when I tell people we aren't planning on kids right now they will ask me why.
  • when I tell people we aren't planning on kids right now they will do the stupid 'oh sure you will, you'll change your mind'  crap.
  • my life is revolving around my problems.
  • people are nervous to talk to me about baby related stuff.
  • I'm too nervous to talk about baby stuff.
  • I'm old and sick.
  • TB will be/is overwhelmed by helping me.
  • TB will realize he needs kids and I won't be able to give that to him.
  • that I'm too scared to adopt.
  • I'll have to explain why we didn't adopt if we don't.
  • I'll feel selfish for not adopting if we don't.
  • my chances will go down.
  • one of these trial meds will hurt me more than I am now.
  • I will have irreversible effects from meds.
  • my effects will run TB off.
  • my depression will never go away.
  • no one will ever really understand.
  • I'll never be able to make my family understand.
  • I won't try to because its uncomfortable.
  • I'm relying n other too much.
  • I'll never be ready.
  • I'll feel  guilty for taking time for myself.
  • I'll feel guilty for living a nice lifestyle because I don't have kids to pay for.
  • I will be weird about other people's kids.
  • I'm broken.

Its always been a tough thing for me to actually say but its true.  I'm scared.

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