So here's my list of fears.....
I'm scared...
- that I'm missing something huge in my life.
- I won't be enough for TB for the rest of our lives.
- I will be too much for TB for the rest of our lives.
- TB and I will never be ok again.
- I will carry this pain with me forever.
- I'm not as strong as I thought I was.
- I'll have to rely on other people.
- I won't be able to protect another child.
- I might resent the people I love.
- I will feel lonely forever.
- TB is more hurt than he lets on.
- I can't help TB with his pain.
- I can't help my own pain.
- TB will get impatient waiting for me to be ready.
- TB will agree to children before he is ready.
- someone I don't know will ask why I don't have kids.
- I'll be rude to people who ask innocent questions.
- of a life without kids.
- of having another miscarriage.
- my body will never really heal.
- I'll never forgive myself for what happened.
- I will smother my kids and be overprotective if I do get them.
- I will never be the same person I was before.
- I cannot be fixed.
- I will never be the same person
- TB is hurting more than I know
- I am not there for TB because I am preoccupied with myself and my pain.
- I talk too much about how sad/scared/crazy I am to the few people I talk to that about.
- I'll get bitter.
- I'll react the wrong way to my close friends/family when they get children.
- I'll never have kids.
- I'll have kids and be a bad mom.
- TB isn't honest about when he wants kids.
- I don't know what I want.
- I won't ever know what I want.
- I'm too scared to make a real decision.
- I'll have another miscarriage.
- I'll get pregnant while I'm sick and have to have an abortion or something.
- I'll get pregnant while I'm sick and the baby will be effected by that.
- I'll get pregnant and it will be a threatening situation.
- We'll have to choose my life or my baby's life.
- I'll be sick forever.
- bills will keep us from doing what we want in the future.
- the law suit won't go well and we won't get any compensation.
- some stupid Dr screwed me up for the rest of my life because they didn't want to admit they were wrong.
- I'll forever be asked 'when are you gonna have kids.
- when I tell people we aren't planning on kids right now they will ask me why.
- when I tell people we aren't planning on kids right now they will do the stupid 'oh sure you will, you'll change your mind' crap.
- my life is revolving around my problems.
- people are nervous to talk to me about baby related stuff.
- I'm too nervous to talk about baby stuff.
- I'm old and sick.
- TB will be/is overwhelmed by helping me.
- TB will realize he needs kids and I won't be able to give that to him.
- that I'm too scared to adopt.
- I'll have to explain why we didn't adopt if we don't.
- I'll feel selfish for not adopting if we don't.
- my chances will go down.
- one of these trial meds will hurt me more than I am now.
- I will have irreversible effects from meds.
- my effects will run TB off.
- my depression will never go away.
- no one will ever really understand.
- I'll never be able to make my family understand.
- I won't try to because its uncomfortable.
- I'm relying n other too much.
- I'll never be ready.
- I'll feel guilty for taking time for myself.
- I'll feel guilty for living a nice lifestyle because I don't have kids to pay for.
- I will be weird about other people's kids.
- I'm broken.
Its always been a tough thing for me to actually say but its true. I'm scared.
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