A little background info....

I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.

I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I thought I'd start my list today.
I'm scared of a life without kids.
I'm scared of having another miscarriage.
I'm scared my body will never really heal.
I'm scared I'll never forgive myself for what happened.
I'm scared I will smother my kids and be overprotective if I do get them.
I'm scared I will never be the same person I was before.

>note<
Sorry about the crazy posts yesterday, APPARENTLY, I can only update my blog a text at a time and each text is a new entry soooooo yea.  craziness.

All fixed.
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