Get a hold of yourself!

What have you gotten yourself into mwc?
Although lists and time lines are something I enjoy and almost require when it comes to projects or ongoing things for some reason when I approach anything around the baby subject I just start to spin out of control and turn into a crazy person.  I am freaking out because I alternately feel like this challenge is too hard and not hard enough.  I constantly go between daily steps and monthly steps and each one feels too much or too little.  The thought was however, that if I put some of my workings onto 'paper' I would hold myself to something instead of flopping around from decision to decision every moment and eventually this would force me to reach a conclusion that is somewhat attainable.  After all if I spend a bunch of time coming up with an intricate and difficult solution that is a lot of work and time I don't have then I won't end up following it and it won't end up doing me any good at all.  So I will strive to be rational.  Man, it is a struggle.

So I think I have decided that I will complete 3 steps a month-a happy medium from the two extremes in my brain-and they will be on the 10th, 20th and last day of every month.  I am also thinking that one of my first steps should be writing down my fears because they are filling my head so full that pretty soon I will not be able to think breathe or move.  (I imagine sometimes my head will eventually be so full that I can no longer pick it up and walk around and I'll spend the rest of my life standing on my head and I'll be similar to the kid on Family Guy that has his head on upside down.  yea.)  Another step should probably be to discuss my fears out loud to someone and go over the ridiculous things in my head and point out the craziness of it all.  In the end I am a pretty rational person and I think that if I see and hear the crazy thoughts they will start to dissipate as I convince myself I am overreacting.  I really think this is the right thing to do I just don't quite know how to start it.  Like I said I become a lunatic when I even get close to any baby related subject.  So yea, feeling pretty screwed right now.  But, it looks like maybe I made some decisions.  Screwed.