I almost peed my pants.

So this is a couple of days late because I wanted the time to put into words all the swirly thoughts I was having about the wonderfulness of the giant news I got on Wed.  My good friend JBU is pregnant!  I am so excited for her.  She is one of the (unfortunately several) friends of mine who has dealt with reproductive issues.  Without going through her bidniss and giving away all her secrets, I can just tell you she has been through A LOT.  This is also the friend that is perpetually sick and/or hurt and ALWAYS the -1% of people who have a crazy side effect.  Yea, so she has been through a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT.  I have spent many hours near tears listening to her worry and fret (for good reasons) that she may never get to have a child, something she has always wanted.  Commiserating with each other is a large part of our visits when we get together because its easy to talk to someone who has been through it all like you have.  I am just so thrilled for her news.  This great great freaking great news led to 3 very distinct and surprising reactions at my house.

After I got off of the phone with her I told my hubby, TB, and jumped around excited and chattering at him for a little while.  When I calmed down he turned to me and said, 'I'm so thrilled that you're so excited for her, that's great.'  And the epiphany slapped me across the face.  I AM excited for her.  That was my first and only reaction.  One of my big fears has been that I would be unable to be completely happy and supportive when my girlfriends starting having kids.  Well fear be gone because that clearly is not the case.  =)

Later in the night I couldn't stop smiling because I had another thought, she got through all of her medical drama crap and came out with a pregnancy.  If she can have so many scary moments and still get what she wants in the end maybe I can too.  Maybe my nightmare will be over someday.  Its a nice feeling when you think there might be hope.  =)

Even later on that night I could not help but notice TB was pretty upset and distant.  After asking him three times what was wrong he finally told me that JBU getting pregnant made him just a little sad.  I was shocked that I hadn't had that reaction but more shocked that he had.  He just does not express that kind of thing often.  Although he is incredible excited for JBU it just makes TB remember that we don't have our own baby here and we may not get the pleasure of being parents to be.  After he talked it out and wrote in his journal, he felt much better and was left with just the excitement.  I felt bad for my husband however, this kind of sadness when it comes to the baby just doesn't go away that quickly with him.  I think maybe because he talks about it so rarely that when he finally does it just lingers.  TB has already come around so I am not worried.

But overall, great news and excitement all the way around.  Yay JBU and BU!  yay!
-you guys should seriously consider the name liz =)