A little background info....

I have been dealing with medical issues regarding my reproduction capability for the last three and a half years after a very bad miscarriage situation. As I was working through a difficult period one day I realized that more and more people and characters around me seem to be dealing with similar circumstances. TV shows, movies, neighbors and friends are struggling because they cannot or may not have children. This is a place to express my feelings about my situation and hopefully help someone else express theirs.

I may not know what other mothers know, but I am a mother without my child and I do what I can to cope.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Five Minute Friday-Enough

I am taking Gypsy Mama's idea and writing for 5 min fri. You write for just five minutes on the topic and don't censor or correct yourself. After five minutes post what you have. You can then link to her page and share your post with others that are writing on the same topic.  Be sure you comment on the link posted before you and any other links you read. =)

Enough


I have been absent from my blog for a while now since I have been going through some difficulties in life.  This seems like the perfect topic to jump into where I am at in my recovery process right now. 

I've had enough.

I have just had enough of trying the same meds that are not working and zap all of my energy and make me feel so sick.  I seriously cannot keep water down once a week.  It's not fun.  More than the awful side effects, I am just through sitting around and hoping things will work out.  I trust my doctor very much and I generally take his advice but I just can't sit still any longer.  At my last evaluation visit I told him that when we meet to discuss the results he needs to schedule a little extra time and plan on going through my options with me because I have had enough of all of this.  I am ready to make some decisions and move forward, whichever direction forward takes me.  I have had enough days feeling crappy I have had enough pills and meds and shots.  I have had enough 'wait and see.'

I've just had enough.

I basically have four options and none of them are good, I am not looking forward to any of them but something has to be done.  After five long years dealing with these problems and three years of recovery I have had enough and I need to DO something, anything really, that will change the situation. 

I really feel like I have enough strength to make the right choice for my body and my future.
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6 comments:

  1. Julie Jordan ScottJuly 20, 2012 at 12:18 PM

    Oh, wow. I am proud of your declaration here. I know the pain of infertility and infant loss, but I always say none of our pain is the same... it is all loss and grief and yet our own, individually.

    I think it was no accident you posted right before me in #FiveMinuteFriday. I am grateful to have "met" you today & am sending oodles of love.

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    1. mwc lizJuly 20, 2012 at 1:40 PM

      Thank you very much. I am sorry to hear that you have been in a similar situation, you know well the difficulties that can come with it. I do find my situation to be more unique than others but 'speaking' with others who have come through their own turmoil always strenghthens me. I agree it was probably not an accident we connected here and am glad that we did. Thank you for the love you send and know that I am returning it to you. Good luck through your own journeys.

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  2. Alyssa JoyJuly 20, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    Praying for a miracle for you today. Thank you so much for sharing :) You are loved!

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  3. TereasaJuly 20, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Oh dear, I am very sorry for your pain. Sometimes it's when we finally have enough, that we can finally begin to heal. Infertility and illness is a very heart-wrenching journey to walk, but there is hope... if not for physical healing, there is hope for emotional healing. Saying a prayer for you today.

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