Timelines

I have been reflecting lately on my state in my life and my future plans.  It seems everyone in the world is having a baby lately.  I have been invited to 3 baby showers in the last month and know of AT LEAST 4 other people who are expecting right now.  Going to BU's first birthday and CR's 2nd birthday were also milestones that make me stop and think.
First of all, where has all of this time gone?  How are my friends and I old enough to have babies and families and all that other stuff?  What has happened?  It feels like we are just not far along on our timelines to be doing that kind of thing.
Second, I am just ridiculously overjoyed that I got to be at BU's birthday party and watch him gnaw on his cake and be adorable.  He is just the cutest thing ever.  I felt like The Grinch when his heart grows too big and breaks that thing when I signed Aunt L on his present.  It's just fun to be referred to as his aunt.  JU (his mom) is one of my closest friends and one of the best people on the planet and I am just in love with her son.  -in the appropriate way clearly
But third, I get this weird little half pang of sadness that I will probably never be on that path.  I am more than happy for my loved ones that are getting that gift but it just twists a little when I realize I just probably never will.  When giggling about baby shower games I made the declaration that MY baby shower would have booze for the guests and strippers so everyone could enjoy themselves properly and not ooh and aaah over tiny baby things.  I had to stop and clarify IF I had a baby shower it would have those things and that took some of the fun out of it.  I really feel like babies are a bad choice at this exact point in my life but it is just a tiny bit difficult to look at these children that other people get to love so much and live with every day and I get nothing.  I guess I have cats, they sure are whiny and spoiled like kids.  They aren't children though, they are cats.  My husband acts like a toddler some days but that's really a different story.  I am so looking forward to my auntly duties as BU gets older and my brothers start having kids and I become Aunt L again and again.  I just need to continue to work on sewing up this hole I feel inside.