Five Minute Friday-Risk

I am taking Gypsy Mama's idea and writing for 5 min fri. You write for just five minutes on the topic and don't censor or correct yourself. After five minutes post what you have. You can then link to her page and share your post with others that are writing on the same topic.  Be sure you comment on the link posted before you and any other links you read. =)


Risk


Risk is a touchy word.  It can be hard for people.  High risk pops into my head first.  I am at high risk for diseases and infections because of my immune system collapse.  I will certainly have a high risk pregnancy if I ever get pregnant again.  If that happens there is a risk that I may not survive it.  I have potential to be put on a high risk adoption list if we ever decide to do that.  My life on many days feels like it is filled to the brim with numbers, statistics, and risk calculations.  There's a big risk that I will need to get a full hysterectomy very soon.  There is the risk that if I choose to have that surgery now for my health, my husband (or even I) could regret and/or resent it later.  It's too risky to make an incision to farm and freeze some of my eggs.  Every new pill, shot, capsule gives me the risk of busting one of my many scars AGAIN and giving me internal bleeding AGAIN and making me have ANOTHER minor surgery to fix it up.  There is a risk that all of this is for nothing and I may never bear my own children and I may never be healthy again.  There is a risk that all of this will trigger my bi-polar disorder in difficult ways that make it hard to control.  There is a risk that I will look back and think I made the wrong choices.  There is also that chance that anything could happen so it's difficult to believe the statistics every time.  Sometimes my gut can see the risks long before the doctors and doctors and doctors see it.